cha·os (k
s
)n.1. A condition or place of great disorder or confusion.
That definition pretty much sums up my life. But at the same time it does not. My life lacks, I have no order in my days no planned events or activities to take up my time that i sink into laziness. My life is a great big pot of nothingness and it seems that no matter how hard i try to create something the idea dissolves or it works one day and then get's forgotten. I want to do something, I think my yearning for "something" as i keep referring to it as, is because of my addiction... my addiction to books. I read constantly, so much that it's pathetic, i live off the adventure, romance, and "somethings" that are always happening in books. It makes me compare my simple life to one fraught with danger and events. I wish i could be satisfied with my life but there are some mornings and I'm not going to lie when i wake up and go "You know it'd be pretty cool if the country got nuked and we were cut off from everyone and forced to survive on the land." My friends give me odd looks when i share these thoughts. I can understand, some people are satisfied with the ordinary that they themselves might find extra-ordinary but i am still searching for "something".
This post is chaos i intended on talking about one thing and veered to something completely different. *sigh*
That definition pretty much sums up my life. But at the same time it does not. My life lacks, I have no order in my days no planned events or activities to take up my time that i sink into laziness. My life is a great big pot of nothingness and it seems that no matter how hard i try to create something the idea dissolves or it works one day and then get's forgotten. I want to do something, I think my yearning for "something" as i keep referring to it as, is because of my addiction... my addiction to books. I read constantly, so much that it's pathetic, i live off the adventure, romance, and "somethings" that are always happening in books. It makes me compare my simple life to one fraught with danger and events. I wish i could be satisfied with my life but there are some mornings and I'm not going to lie when i wake up and go "You know it'd be pretty cool if the country got nuked and we were cut off from everyone and forced to survive on the land." My friends give me odd looks when i share these thoughts. I can understand, some people are satisfied with the ordinary that they themselves might find extra-ordinary but i am still searching for "something".
This post is chaos i intended on talking about one thing and veered to something completely different. *sigh*
No comments:
Post a Comment